the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
