I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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