First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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