never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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