I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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