Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize