No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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