when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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