oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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