i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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