I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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