No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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