she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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