Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
