Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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