Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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