This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize