We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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