I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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