found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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