My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
