What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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