Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
