are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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