He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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