if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
