there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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