so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
