I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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