Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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