the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
