Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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