so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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