Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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