apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
