dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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