So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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