I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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