Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We named our party play list daddy issues
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
