piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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