saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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