dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
