Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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