i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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