That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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