Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
