i will never coherently bang her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
