It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
