After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
