He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize