I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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