Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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