Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
