Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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