Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
