It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
