Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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