SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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