I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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