It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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