i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
