I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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