i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
